Surviving Life as a Golf Widow: A Guide to Coping When He Chooses 18 Other Holes Over You

Look, I’m all about my boyfriend having hobbies. I love that he has interests, I love that he gets fresh air, and I love that he’s found a sport that brings him joy. But what I don’t love is the moment you realise that golf has become the main relationship in his life—and you? You’re now just the side chick.

The addiction usually starts small. Maybe he goes to the driving range “just to try it out.” Then, maybe he plays a round one sunny weekend “as a one-off.” Next thing you know, he’s got a tee time every Saturday, he’s subscribed to Golf Monthly, and he’s casually dropping hundreds of pounds on a new driver like it’s an essential life expense.

And let’s talk about the miraculous burst of energy that golf inspires. My boyfriend, who usually struggles to leave the house for a simple long walk with me, will suddenly wake up at the crack of dawn, bouncing with the energy of a five-year-old after an entire bag of Tangfastics, just to make his 7 AM tee time. Meanwhile, if I suggest a day out? “Babe, I’m too tired.”

So, the theme for today is how to survive becoming a golf widow. If your man has officially entered his golfer era, here’s how to reclaim your time (and sanity):

1. You Don’t Need Your Man – Make Your Own Fun

Stop waiting around for his round to finish like a 1950s housewife staring out of the window. Get out there and have your own fun! Book a brunch, hit a Pilates class, have a self-care day. Or, if you really want to be petty, text him a picture of you sipping cocktails in the sun while he’s out there battling a sand bunker.

Remember, a weekend is still a weekend—even if your boyfriend is off on his golfing pilgrimage. Make plans with friends, book a solo date, or take up a hobby that he finds as confusing as you find golf. (Pottery, crochet, or even a “Treat Yourself” day where you buy unnecessary homeware—pure bliss.)

2. Learn to Speak Golf (or Fake It)

At some point, he will want to talk to you about his round. And unless you want to hear a 40-minute breakdown of every missed putt, it’s best to learn a few key phrases. Here are some solid go-to responses:

• “Ahh, unlucky!” (For when he tells you about a bad shot)

• “That’s a solid round, babe!” (For when you have no idea what he just said)

• “You just need to trust your short game.” (No idea what this means, but it sounds good)

• “Wow, a birdie? That’s great!” (Pretend you know what this means—sounds cute, though.)

Extra points if you throw in a completely made-up golf term and see if he notices. Something like, “Did you remember to compensate for the backspin torque on the ninth hole?” and watch his brain short-circuit.

3. A Basic Guide to Understanding Golf (So You Can Pretend to Care)

If you’re constantly hearing words that sound like gibberish, here’s a quick crash course in golf lingo to help you survive the conversations:

• Par – The number of strokes a player is expected to take to complete a hole. Think of it like a budget, except he will definitely overspend.

• Birdie – One stroke under par. Apparently, this is good. If he gets one, say “Nice one!”

• Bogey – One stroke over par. If this happens, just shake your head and say, “Oof, tough break.”

• Eagle – Two strokes under par. A rare occurrence, but if it happens, he’ll be talking about it for weeks.

• Handicap – A system that lets players of different skill levels compete fairly. But let’s be real, he’s still going to act like he’s playing the Masters.

• Fore! – If you hear this, duck. Immediately.

• 19th Hole – The clubhouse bar. This is the only part of golf that might actually interest you.

Now, when he inevitably wants to recap his entire game shot by shot, at least you can nod along without completely zoning out.

4. Encourage Him to Take Up a Second Hobby

Preferably something that you enjoy and involves you being there. If he insists on spending four hours chasing a tiny ball around a field, at least balance it out with a couple’s activity. Bowling, cycling, a spa day (manifesting this one for us all). Anything that doesn’t involve you being left on read while he’s too busy lining up a putt.

Or, if that fails, find an activity you can both do but that he’s terrible at. Nothing humbles a man faster than watching his girlfriend outperform him at something. Bonus points if it's yoga and he gets stuck in downward dog.

5. Turn the Tables

The next time he’s talking about a golf club, just start randomly listing off expensive skincare products or shoe brands until he realises what it feels like to hear about something he doesn’t care about. Bonus points if you start explaining in depth why hyaluronic acid is essential for hydration.

Alternatively, start your own niche obsession. Maybe you take up astrology and suddenly you’re talking about his rising sign every chance you get. (He’s a Leo with a Cancer moon? Oh, honey, no wonder he’s so dramatic about bogeying the 5th hole.)

6. Focus on Self-Care (Because He’s Not Coming Home Anytime Soon)

The beauty of dating a golf addict? Free time. No man hovering around while you do your skincare routine, no one asking “What’s for tea?” the second you sit down. Use his absence wisely. Get a facial, deep-condition your hair, binge-watch trashy reality TV in peace. It’s your time now.

Plus, if you play it right, you can act like you barely noticed he was gone when he gets home. “Oh, you’re back already? I had such a relaxing day.” This drives them mad.

7. Hide His Clubs (Only If Absolutely Necessary)

If all else fails and the golf obsession gets out of hand, a little strategic club misplacement never hurt anybody. Maybe his putter ends up behind the fridge. Maybe his driver takes a little “holiday” in the back of the wardrobe. Who’s to say how these things happen? Accidents occur.

Alternatively, just threaten to replace his clubs with pink glittery ones and see how quickly he suddenly starts prioritising quality time with you.

At the end of the day, if golf makes him happy, then fine. But just know that the next time he moans about you taking too long to get ready, you have full permission to remind him that he willingly spends four hours trying to get a ball into a hole.

And hey, maybe it’s time to flip the script. Next time he heads off for a round, get yourself a full spa day, go on a shopping spree, or book a cute little weekend away without him.

Or maybe—just maybe—you take things to the next level. Next time he invites you to the course to “ride along in the buggy,” show up in full caddie gear, clipboard in hand, ready to critique his every move. Take notes, ask him why he’s not hitting it like Rory McIlroy, and start loudly announcing his strokes like a sports commentator. He’ll either love it, or he’ll never ask you to come again. Either way, you win.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a brunch to plan—and maybe a few clubs to strategically misplace.

Are you a fellow golf widow? How are you surviving? Let me know in the comments!